Have you ever encountered Radical Honesty™ used as a weapon to dismiss your emotions, control your language, or even justify harmful behavior? As someone who has experienced this firsthand, I want to shed light on the dark side of this cult, culture and so-called "communication tool" so you can identify it, resist its manipulative tactics, and advocate for yourself.
The Signs of Weaponized Radical Honesty
These are all the examples former workshop participants gave me; upon reflection, I witnessed them in my own teachings and those of other trainers and RH practitioners.
- Dismissing Your Experience as "Emotional": Radical Honesty trainers and practitioners may invalidate your feelings, labeling them as overly emotional, attached or irrational. This is particularly damaging when dealing with systemic issues like racism or sexism, where your emotional response is a valid and necessary part of the conversation.
- Insisting on "Specifics" to the Point of Gaslighting: While focusing on specifics is a valuable therapeutic tool within a controlled environment, it can be misused to silence and undermine your experiences. If someone repeatedly demands "specifics" and dismisses your interpretations as "just your story," they are invalidating your reality and gaslighting you into questioning your own perceptions.
- Language Policing and Forced Compliance: Radical Honesty has its own insider-language, which can be wielded to control and manipulate others. If someone insists you use specific phrases like "I resent you for..." or refuses to engage unless you adopt their language, they are using Radical Honesty as a tool of coercion rather than genuine communication.
- Justifying Harmful Behavior Through Honesty: Honesty does not excuse racism, sexism, sexual harassment, or any other form of abusive behavior. If someone uses their "honesty" to justify their harmful actions, they are twisting the principles of Radical Honesty to serve their own selfish agenda.
- Double Standards and Power Imbalances: Be wary of situations where those in power hold themselves to different standards than others. In the Radical Honesty community, this can manifest as trainers or experienced practitioners breaking agreements, disregarding boundaries, and engaging in manipulative behaviors while expecting strict adherence to the rules from others.
- Sexual Objectification and Exploitation: Some individuals may exploit the vulnerability encouraged in Radical Honesty workshops to make inappropriate sexual comments or engage in unwanted advances. This behavior is never acceptable and should be reported immediately.
It's important to remember that Radical Honesty was founded by Brad Blanton, who gave up or "lost" his psychotherapist license so that he doesn't have to comply with therapeutic requirements and ethical guidelines. As a result, he called Radical Honesty movement a cult, where he as the leader, abused his position of power. He also abused therapy and spirituality. Due to the lack of cult education and awareness of coercive control at the time, many people who blindly follow his work today justify, normalize and repeat his behavior. Brad has designed Radical Honesty to stop critical thinking, isolate people from outside influences, and traumatize people for the sake of honesty. "Abuse is worse withholding than doing it." - Brad, June 2023. I think it is safer to expect Radical Honesty practitioners to engage in abusive and manipulative tactics in order to maintain their agenda and delusion of "true honesty."
How to Protect Yourself
- Trust Your Intuition: If something feels off, it probably is. Don't ignore your gut feeling or dismiss your discomfort. Trust your instincts and prioritize your safety and well-being.
- Seek Support Outside of the RH Community: Talk to trusted friends, family, therapists, or support groups outside of the Radical Honesty community. Their unbiased perspective can help you make sense of your experiences and validate your feelings.
- Set Boundaries and Assert Yourself: Don't be afraid to say "no" to requests or behaviors that make you uncomfortable. Remember that you don't have to comply with the group. Don't fit in. Exercise autonomy. Clearly communicate your boundaries and stand your ground when they are challenged.
- Call Out Harmful Behavior: If you witness someone misusing Radical Honesty, don't be afraid to speak up and call out their behavior. Your voice matters, and your courage can inspire others to do the same.
- Report Misconduct: If the person misusing Radical Honesty is associated with the Radical Honesty Institute, report their behavior through the anonymous reporting form on their website. If the situation escalates or becomes dangerous, contact your local authorities and seek professional help. Remmeber that any for of violence is violence and it's okay to involve police to protect yourself and others. If you're in a remote location in a foreign country (which is often the case with culty retreats), contact your friends and family to get you to the closest embassy. Always have an exit plan when traveling.
I hope this will help you speak up for yourself or others if you see someone abusing Radical Honesty. If you are unsure what is going on and need guidance, consider reaching out to me or another professional trained in coercive control and abuse of power.
Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. If you are experiencing abuse or manipulation, reach out to a qualified therapist or counselor.
